I have now hit a "Third of a Century"

Sounds bad huh? Thank you to my mother for reminding me of this milestone.

I just re-read my blog from my birthday last year. It's amazing how true it became and fitting for my present day. This birthday was by far the BEST I have had in a long time. I am truely happy and in a better place in my life than I was this time a year ago. It's amazing how life seems to unravel so quickly then just like that can begin to fall into place on its own. Doors close and at the same time the right door opens. No forcing required.

I enjoyed taking some time out for myself. At the same time I treasured the excitement from Marcus - he loves birthdays of any kind for anyone! We celebrated with birthday ice cream after school. Any reason for him to have birthday cake ice cream...nasty!

Later than night I got the best gift of all...my dose of "honey". We went to dinner and ended up having a great evening and quiet dinner while Marcus lay asleep on the other booth bench. It was the best family dinner we have ever had - the best birthday gift he could have ever given me...lol

My day ended on the highest note possible and couldn't have been better. I truely am happy with my life and have the feeling of nothing but positive movement and gain in my future.

I thank you for all those who have taken part and made my life what it is today...the good, the bad and in between. If any of it were changed, my life would not be as is today and I wouldn't change a single thing!!

Howdy Folks, Welcome to the State Fair of Texas

What a great day at the State Fair of Texas today! Tony had never been before and Marcus did great considering it was his first state fair visit as a big boy with no stroller, wagon, etc. He had his bad and whiney moments but overall did great.

We started off with walking around the fair grounds, the dog show, and the petting zoo. First year Marcus actually PET the animals in the petting zoo. It amazes me how he is so scared of the little cute animals and wants a pet Lion in his backyard. I fed an ostrich out of my hand - I am sure there was a warning not to do this but oh well.,..lol

And now on to The Midway!! Marcus was in heaven...what went the fastest and highest??? Marcus and I rode on the Tilt-a-Whirl and we both were felling sick...it's been awhile since I have been on one of those! Bumper cars & a dragon roller coaster with Tony topped off Midway. He was finally tall enough to go thru the crazy fun houses on his own...and he picked the one with a window maze...2 GOOD smacks into the glass windows and he started to get scared and tear up. Then here comes a cute little blonde girl to save the day and help him out. Lesson learned..."Men who cry get the girl!" lol I know I shouldn't have been laughing...but I couldn't help it! SMACK :)

Corn dogs, funnel cake and nachos - nothing better and worse at the same time! Not really interested in trying any of the FRIED foods - I will stick to the usuals - why mess with perfection? Visit to Big Tex and again no tears around him for the first time.

Used up all the coupons and no major meltdowns. Sun was out but the weather was great. Couldn't have been a better Fair Day experience!!!

Memories

I sit here going thru 5+ years of photos and this is one of the most rewarding yet most difficult things I have done. Looking for photos of my grandmother who for my entire life hid from the camera. It is a known fact that after we lose our loved ones, all we are left with are memories. Why must it be so hard to have photo memories too? Does she regret shying away from the camera? We will be left with our internal memories and a few pictures managed to be snapped.

I find myself in a wierd mood, somber even...knowing that this will be a duplicate effort in the future as well and I am making it my goal now to make this easier the next time around. I know we should not rely on photos for our loved ones memories but I don't know what else to do for my 5 year old who is quickly forgetting. He will never forget her love, and hugs, and kisses but her picture is quickly fading in his mind. I don't want it to happen this fast.

I am trying to give Marcus something real to hold onto as he grows up and I am no longer going to be nice about not taking pictures. Camera, set, GO!!!!

Letter Challenge -- My Best Friend

What defines a best friend?

I believe that friends come into your life for a variety of reasons or just certain time periods. People are drawn to others just as they drift apart. It's not healthy to maintain only 1 or 2 close friendships throughout your life. We all need the stimulation and companionship from a variety of people during our lifetime.

To me a best friend is a confident, caring, honest, trustworthy, sincere, respectful, and loving person. You can and want to share your life with this person - the good the bad and the ugly. You have nothing to hide nor fear from this person. You want to be a better person because of them. Simply put, your best friend should bring out the best of you while aiming to improve the worst of you.

At this point in my life, I find myself in an unfamiliar place. I have always thought of my best friend as that close girl in my life but more times than not this person has not existed.

Instead I find myself in a cherished relationship with my best friend. I always wanted to fall in love with my best friend and I can honestly say that none of my past relationships have held up to this definition in my heart. I thank you for all you are, all you do, and most importantly for making me want to be a better person for knowing you.

From 14...5

Just like that my baby boy turns 5, starts Kindergarten and my time with him gets cut from 14 hours a day to only 5. It is so wierd not being surrounded by him so much now. I have way too much quiet time for my thoughts and voices. Way too scary!

I find myself entering new territory after 5 years. Now to those with multiple children I am sure like this seems like no big deal but I went from a world all about me to a world all about my son and now I am finding myself with a balancing act. Why should it be one or the other? There should be a fair balance for both myself and my son. I finally feel like I am achieving this.

I am enjoying our new surroundings and even making some new friends. We both are actually.

Marcus enjoyed his first new friend over last week and today he went to his first after school playdate at his new friend's house. I walked up to the school to pick him up and came home with a backpack but no Marcus. He kept on walking with his buddy yelling bye mom down the sidewalk. I enjoy having friends in the neighborhood!

So I went over to pick him up and we ended up going to dinner with them and meeting another school friend there as well. I finally got him to myself from 7-8 before bedtime :( Tomorrow night is a family nite picnic at school...let's see if he talks to me then....afterall I can hope, right?

Mean Mom

I feel like the worst mom ever tonight...I sent Marcus to bed with no dinner but it was partly his own choice. 3 green beans on his plate and WW3 broke out in my kitchen. Tears, screams, and full blown tantrum.

Not only would he not take a single bite but he refused to eat anything cuz the green beans were on the same plate. He chose to go bed - shower and straight to bed at 715, no tv, no light, no toys. Maybe a couple more nights of this and he will be willing to take a bite. I am sure he will be wanting breakfast in the morning...I feel green beans and cereal coming on. lol

I have always said from day one, my son would never go to bed hungry. I would do whatever I had to do in life to provide him with food...even taking it off of my plate. I know this is not the same thing but it still hurt. It hurts me even more seeing him act like this over a simple vegetable. I wish I could just set down a plate of food and he would eat it. I don't want him growing up unwilling to try new foods or eat a well balanced meal. I want so much for him to grow healthy in all aspects, especially his diet. I don't want him to have the struggles I have faced - no parent wants that for their child. Why must he fight so hard against this?

I am going to be more consistent on offering the foods every night at dinner and maybe he will just give up and surprise me one day! I can only hope :)

Labor Day Weekend minus the LABOR!!!!

So sad...it's over...what great Labor Day weekend!!!

Started off Saturday headed to my moms. Marcus was super excited to see Granny since it had been since July 4th. Lots of new things to show and talk with Granny about. Plus he was looking forward to some "Superhero" talk with Papa Joe and Uncle Micheal.

We managed to squeeze in a little ghost town and some end of the summer swimming. I even took an afternoon nap...that is not an often occurrence :) Dinner at a small country owned place with awesome catfish and fried pickles!!!

Sunday I got to sleep in and got a great surprise from my honey - an opportunity to sneak away to San Antonio for just some "us" time! It was a WIN-WIN for us and for my mom and Marcus. Shouldn't every grandson have some quality alone time with his granny? I totally think so!

So off to SA I went!!!

We had a great lunch complete with offering the leftovers to a homeless guy...my guy is so generous! Followed up with some hotel relaxation then got ready for the night out. Headed downtown to take in Ripley's Haunted House....left scared shitless!!! Wax museum, Guiness World Records Museum, Alamo, Riverwalk, and topped off the nite at a bar! We had a great time just walking around and hanging out together. Little mini-vaca...definitely need a longer one together now!

Headed back home Monday, stopped to pick up Marcus and then the long drive home. Holiday weekends are great until you get to the drive home. Add some off and on rain, with "lovely" Texas drivers [please note sarcasm] and a 3 hour trip takes 4.5 hours. Thank goodness Marcus was in a much better mood today - we had lots to talk about since we hadn't seen each other in 24 hours. I got both earfuls! lol

Home, somewhat unpacked, in bed and geared up for a short week!

Hope everyone had a great well deserved rested holiday weekend too.

30 Day Letter Challenge

My new self challenge was totally stolen from a couple other people I have seen doing this already. It seems quite interesting and possibly even probing into myself some more!!!

So here it is...feel free to steal just as I have and stay tuned.

The 30 Day Letter Challenge

WRITE A LETTER TO THESE PEOPLE :

Day 1 -- Your Best Friend
Day 2 -- Your Crush
Day 3 — Your parents

Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)

Day 5 — Your dreams

Day 6 — A stranger

Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush

Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend

Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet

Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to

Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to

Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain

Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you

Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from

Day 15 — The person you miss the most

Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country

Day 17 — Someone from your childhood

Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be

Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad

Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest

Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression

Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to

Day 23 — The last person you kissed

Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory

Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times

Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to

Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day

Day 28 — Someone that changed your life

Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to

Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

Nearing the end...

Ok so I will be the first to admit that life has definitely gotten in the way of my daily journal for the month of August. I started of strong and tried to keep up with it...not for lack of thoughts or material but time. Not really a good excuse but it's the best I got. lol

This morning was rather smooth for school following the 1st weekend. Just a little threatening with no afternoon cartoons if there was arguing or whining in the morning. Basically, the rule is "If you don't do what you are suppose to do in the morning, then you don't get to do what you want to do in the afternoon!" Marcus finally brought home some worksheets from last week - actual hard paper proof that the first week was not all fun and games and snow cones...lol

Today I started back on my health kick routine and it felt great. I must say that after a few months lag time it was easier than I thought to get back on track... right down to my food journaling. I have also added the walking to and from school - hey every step counts, right? My company is really striving to improve the overall Wellness of it's employees and I must say it is a positive thing. They offer a variety of live and online wellness informational sessions, medical benefit incentives, cash reimbursements for gym memberships/weight loss programs, flu shot expenses, and raffles/prizes for participation. Of course the financial impact of ill employees is a major driving factor, however, they could raise our benefit premiums and throw their hands up. They don't have to go these extra miles. I am proud to work for a company that takes so much pride in their employees overall well being. After all health happy people are more productive.

Good luck everyone!

BTW- sleep should be a big part of your wellness goals...I should probably get to bed myself!

Stay tuned tomorrow for my next self challenge...

Big day for my car

I have finally got my garage cleaned out enough to put my car in it on a daily basis. So exciting since my car has never had a garage to call its own. It wouldn't be the big shabang without a complete car wash too. So Marcus and I washed the car then in the garage it will be! It will be so nice to not get drenched just walking to the car in the rain and it will help during the winter months too with the cold and ice. It only felt appropriate since 1/3 of my car is brand new -- I kinda have that new car attitude on keeping it nice...lol

Tomorrow also starts my weight loss and exercise routine again. I am starting Alli again as I have had great success with this program already in the past. I need a jump start to get out of my current rut. As a final sign off tonight for bedtime snack we had Oreos and milk!!! My fridge is stalked with fresh fruit and veggies and healthy snacks. Ready set go :)

One more week of work then a long weekend in Austin my mommy! Marcus is super excited since it has been a couple months now. He is missing his granny :)

Here's to a fast week and more positive reactions to school!

My fears of the school year already.

1. Will he make friends?
2. Will he be nice and respectful?
3. Will he get bullied?
4. Will he stand up for himself?
5. Will he be bored?
6. Will he excel?
7. Will he have fun?
8. Will he make memories?
9. Will he enjoy himself?
10. Will he get lost in the building?
11. Will he go poop at school?????
12. Will he get in trouble?]
13. Will he cry?
14. Will he throw a tantrum? [I am hoping those are saved for me only lol]
15. Will he be a teacher's pet?
16. Will he help others?
17. Will he ask questions if he needs help?
18. Will he be assertive in class?
19. Will he try his hardest every day?
20. Will he know how proud I am of him???

And finally, I hope he doesn't become a natural in the principal's office.

Funny incident from this morning...

Walking up to the school the principal says 'Good morning, have a great day Marcus."

Now I ask, why does the principal know your name the first week of school?

Well mommy, I have been to her office.

What?? Why were you in her office already?

Well the whole class got to go.

At least I felt better it was not a bad thing then.

After talking to the principal, she said that all the Kindergarten classes take a tour of the school and visit her office so she can tell them what she does and meet them.

Wheeewwww...close call!

Whewwwwwww

Whewww - we made it. The first week of school and a new routine!

All in all it went very well and Marcus had a great first week of Kindergarten. It feels good to get up and out of the house every morning...I may actually miss the cool morning walk tomorrow but I am going to be selfish and choose sleep! We walked to and from school every day except Wed morning due to the downpouring rain and even snuck(is that a real word?) in an extra walk to the school for PTA ice cream Thursday evening. Just after this one week I am feeling better and more energized from the extra activity.

I have also gone back to the gym - 4 times a week starting Monday. It was amazing how I missed it once I was there and on the eliptical. The new location is so much better with your own tv/radio on each and every cardio machine. I just have to remember my ear phones!

The weather has been great these past couple of days - fall is creeping in and I will welcome it with open arms!!!! I love this time of the year :)

I also got my car back a few days ago and officially taken it on it's first drive to Mesquite tonight. Felt a little wierd but we made it safely and it drives so much better...kinda of surprising how an accident can be a somewhat good thing...sure a NEW car would have been even better but I can't complain.

Well I should get some sleep or at least finish up a couple of things to start aiming for sleep!

Sleep tight and don't let the bed bugs bite :) Good night.

Check out our other blogs!

If you follow this blog then please feel free to follow these other blogs as well.

http://journeythrukindergarten.blogspot.com

http://imreadywatchout/blogspot.com

Time well spent.....

Nothing like a weekend full of rest, lounging and relaxation to rejuvenate for you for the week to come. This is going to be a crazy week - getting into the school thing and new routine. Chillin' all weekend with my 2 favorite guys...it couldn't have been better! The weekdays are so crazy busy and nonstop it feels so good to not do a darn thing for a day or so.

I am a well rested woman of little words tonight! Good night!!!

Meet The Teacher

Well we did it...first steps into Kindergarten. Walking up to the school Marcus was asking all kinds of questions and finally said "well, I am a little nervous." I was waiting for it sometime over the next couple days. He quickly got over it and walked right thru the front doors asking how to get to Kindergarten...lol

We found his room and met Ms. Kennedy. She is super sweet and had several past students coming in to say Hi. That's a good sign right? I mean if no one liked her they sure wouldn't come back to visit. Marcus went up to her and introduced himself then started taking it all in. The classroom had so much new stuff in it. He had to do a couple things for room decor then we went into the cafeteria for the PTA stuff! Wrote my 1st check to the NorthRich PTA then off to some fun outside with the bounce houses. Marcus had a blast and is even more excited now that it all seems real.

No tears yet, just happiness and joy! Check back Monday - I am sure this will change...lol

I hope everyone else has had some great back to school moments already!!! This year will be over before we know it :)

Tissues Anyone?

I lay in bed thinking about my bitter sweet tomorrow. Friday Aug 20, the last full day [outside of public school holidays] that Marcus will be home with me during the day. I know he is ready for Monday but am I? Am I ready to let him go full time - 5 days a week all day? Who will hear me talking to myself and come in running asking "What is wrong Mommy?". No more..."Mommy, I need a snack or drink." No more 9 or 930am sleepy voice "Mommy, come get me awake!" I feel the tears already.

I know I have to release him in the world but it's scary....the world is a scary place :(

I can only have faith in myself and him that I have done all I can do to this point for him to be able to enter the world and begin to make his own decisions, make his own friends, further develop his personality, ask the big and important questions, and last but not least break a few hearts.

Come Monday, all will be quiet and lonely...except for my tears and sniffles!

Welcome to RISD

It's official....Marcus got his first letter from RISD today, welcoming him to Kindergarten.

His teacher will be Ms. Kennedy in room 5 -- he loves number 5 so even better :)

Friday is "Meet the Teacher" and he is all ready to go with his school supplies and check out his new classroom. He is excited to meet new friends. He has been diligently practicing over the summer and should have no problem easing into the work. I have complete faith in him and know that he does not give up easily.

With the letter I got the daily drop off and pick up routine outlined...complete with a hug zone before letting the kids go into the building. For the first week, we can walk him into class then it's the hug zone and he has to walk in like a big boy. He was already used to this in Pre-K...dumping off at the door and he would go into his class. He already wants me to come and have lunch with him...we'll see how long that lasts! LOL

We are ready for Kindergarten!!!!

Surreal

My life is so surreal right now....it feels like I am watching a movie play edited scenes of my reality. Every day I am realizing more and more how fast my baby is growing up right before my eyes. One minute he was this helpless little boy and now he is losing his first tooth, picking out school clothes, making his own lunch, and going to Kindergarten.

This is his last week as a preschooler...his last Sunday night to stay up late and sleep in on Monday...even though he probably shouldn't. I can't help but want to give him all the free time he will have for the rest of his life. He has no idea how his life is about to change, how he is going to be growing up on his own, developing his own preferences out in the big world.

Marcus lost his first tooth this morning and for a split second I said "We have to call nana and granny." Not even realizing as I said it, but once I heard the words out loud...surreal.

Another major milestone without our Nana but we know she was watching down on us and was so happy and proud of Marcus. Can angels chip in on the tooth fairy's contribution too? lol

Life is a funny thing...you may not realize how perfect your life is while you are living it but when you get the chance to sit back and look in as an outsider...it's AWESOME! I have been having some dreams lately, as myself looking back on my life and some of the bigger moments. Of course we all have things we probably would have done differently but all it would have taken is one alteration and life as you know it would not exist. I truely am happy at this point in my life...not necessarily where I thought I would have been a year ago, but in a much better place in my opinion. Just goes to prove that we always don't know what is best for us. We need to sit back, buckle in, and hold on for the ride of our life. No maps or navigation just faith, hope and dreams.

Friday the 13th!!!

Yesterday definitely held up to it's name! Friday the 13th.....complete twilight zone!!!

Thankfully nothing to dangerous happened but still was a not so good day.

On a good note, we noticed that Marcus has his first loose tooth! At 5 years old only...I thought there was still another year before this milestone...Guess not. The tooth fairy better get on it and be on the look out! He is headed to the dentist this week for a scheduled cleaning and to get the briefing on loosing your teeth.

Looks like our car is being repaired at $6500...most likely will be about 10 days to complete, assuming nothing else is found during the repairs. Thanks to my knight in shining armor this past week. I am such a lucky girl to have him in my life.

Still shaky on the whole driving thing...only done in a handful times this past week and I am just fine with that. I have no desire to drive anywhere especially today at 7pm...my one week freak-out. I am entitled right?

Got lots of needed stuff done today and now its time to relax with my 2 favorite boys!

Have a great Saturday :)

What a week!!!!

So I know I have slacked the past few days on my blog but I am sticking to my reason for the difference of the time zones in Pittsburgh.

It was a productive few days in the office...not a phrase I get to say but yes "in the office." It was good to see everyone again. I loved the cooler heat waved up that way. Only 90 degrees and woke up to the low 70s....awwww it was great! Got so cold in my hotel room I had to turn off the AC - how I do miss it already. The entire plane moaned when the pilot mentioned triple digit heat at DFW during take off.

But at last it was time to head back home and see my little man. 3 days is too long sometimes...then others not enough...lol He was ready to come home but apparently worried how he was going to get back since Mommy didn't have car anymore. He asked Gabby if she knew how to get to our house so he could get back home. Never fear...he got home!!!

Car situation sucks but it is getting worked out and all will be fine! Thanks to my knight in shining armor, we are not completely without a vehicle for the next week. It's amazing what truely generous people do for others and ask nothing in return. I am so lucky and grateful to have someone like this in my life. The tough times are made so much better by that special someone.

Well it has been a crazy week and still got one more day to go...I should get a few things done for work then hit the pillow for some shut eye! Sweet dreams to all.

Waking up in 70 degrees!!!

Ah...how I have missed these cool temps. I am loving it here in Pittsburgh....I don't wanna go back t to the 100+ heat in Texas.

I was wondering how long it would be before I missed my first daily blog - I made it 8 days :) But in my own defense I did loose an hour yesterday in flight to PGH so that would have been my hour to blog!! Does that work for you?

Yesterday, the day after my car accident and I sat in the passenger seat cringing watching a couple near misses on the freeway. I am not used to feeling this vulnerable. It was my first nervous trip here...things were just feeling all wrong with the flight...first our gate was changed due to mechanical failures then once at the new gate our plane was changed...what was going to happen next? But when it was all said and done we landed safely and I even managed to make a safe drive to the hotel.

Considering everything that has happened this weekend I woke up quite refreshed this morning. I got some sleep last night amongst the all too real vivid replays in my mind. Hopefully they should diminish but it does reaffirm our limited time here. Why was the choice made to save our lives? Why were there at that exact moment in time???

I'm off for some breakfast and headed to the office...I just like saying that since it it all too rare for me!!!!

Have a great day and be safe :)

Gone from great to sucks in 8 hours....

Today started out great...waking up in the best set of arms ever!

I took Marcus swimming at a local pool for a few hours - no additional sun burn for me thank goodness. Then we came home to get cleaned up and were going to eat dinner, some shopping and had to do laundry and get packed for this week. Left the house to eat dinner - left there to head to the store....and whaaaaaa baaaaaammmmm! Suddenly my car is at a dead stop and I am in a T-Bone position with an Acura. My green baby got badly hurt but Thank God life was chosen over cars. No one was hurt besides just shaken up. Considering it was an accident there was no confrontation or yelling...everyone involved was very polite and concerned with Marcus's safety. Witnesses came over from across the street, brought out water and stayed with us the whole time. I had my car towed to my house for now and the other car was driven off. It could have been so much worse. A car is a car and somehow I will manage to get the money to get it fixed but if one of us had been seriously hurt...or Marcus...I can't even imagine.

Marcus has finally gone to sleep and I will be soon enough I am sure -- after we watch Jersey Shore and I get my addiction fix for the week :)

What a Friday!

Today started out quite productive for a Friday! This evening I took Marcus to see Shrek The Final Chapter since we had yet to see it. Better late than never I guess. We liked it but it seemed to have quite a bit adult humor and references that Marcus didn't understand. He still enjoyed it but he said his favorite part was eating the hotdog in the bun with ketchup...and popcorn. What a dinner!! lol

I got the last missing items for school...baggies, underwear and socks. He is finally all set and found some approved underwear to meet Sir Marcus's superhero standards...lol

Marcus asked to keep taking soccer so I signed him this evening for Fall thru Richardson. Now we just got to get his gear. At least it will be cooler come end of September. I hope he enjoys it.

I was suppose to come home and make fish and rice for dinner but that has been postponed due to a delayed flight and a long drive home from OK. Sorry dear....wishing you were here instead...my feet miss u...lol

I am gonna chill now and catch up some tv!!

Not sure what tomorrow will bring but then come Sunday I am on my way to Pittsburgh for a few days...I am seriously hoping that the 100+ heat doesn't follow me!

Fun in the Sun

After a busy morning of work we went to Surf-n-Swim this afternoon with some friends and had a BLAST. I will even have the pain tomorrow to prove it...lol

Marcus just took off in the waves even out in the 6+ feet water with his vest on floating out in the waves. This was really the 1st time we both just laid there relaxing in the waves. I felt confident enough to relax some and he actually truely enjoyed the waves for the first time! All our friends left and we hung out in the waves for another 45 minutes...just floating and talking. It amazes me of his conversations sometimes. I have come to adore the young boy growing before my eyes with his expanding mind, personality, and curiousity.

Straight from the water to the last night of VBS. Marcus was so tired but quickly got his second wind and had another great night with his buddies. I am so tired and worn out, my legs are sore from fighting the waves, and my back is sunburned. After all this I wouldn't have changed any of it! I swear I am going to find a way to drain the excess energy from him and pump into my veins...this day and time in technology there has to be a way!!!! Wish me luck.

Whewwww...

OK - not sure if it is because of VBS this week and the late nights out or what but this week is dragging by. It has kind of sucked not being home every night this week but Marcus has enjoyed his much overdue time with old friends. It makes me so happy to see him genuinely happy and having a good time.

I swear just these few days of driving in rush hour evening traffic has nearly driven me crazy! Apparently it has been way too long since I have had to encounter this on a regular basis. Needless to say it has not been missed at all.

Of course I pick a day during the week of the hottest heat waves this summer to hang out at a local water park. But we are looking forward to an afternoon of fun in the sun again tomorrow (my sunburn is all clear and ready to be renewed tomorrow lol) It will be good to be with old friends too. Marcus wants to try his underwater skills in deep water with the waves.

I hope everyone is staying cool and enjoying these last few weeks of summer!!

Reality TV

So here's my pish posh on my self-admitted addiction....Reality TV

What in the world did we watch 10 years ago before reality tv? I remember the first episode of Real World on MTV and I was amazed how people would put themselves on national tv like that. Now a days another reality tv star is the norm. What makes them so addicting? We know they are not 100% real tv but still tune in every week. Is that we see a piece of ourselves thru the tv or enjoy the many self-induced stunts and laughs from them? The daily dramas keep pulling us in. Whatever the reason may be it seems that our entertainment standards have surpassed the talented stars and can suffice on mediocre scripts and contests. I feel for those in the industry who can truely transform a character into something magical on the screen.

There are so many different reality tv shows on today...it's a wonder of what they will come out with next.

Even with all this, I can't seem to turn away. I have to turn in each week to see who will do something stupid and create the drama!!! Stay tuned...

3 weeks

Wow 3 weeks from today and we will be discussing our 1st day of Kindergarten. I am so excited...new people and the best of all - refresher courses from elementary school. Considering it has been 25+ years since I walked thru a set of those doors I have alot of refreshing to do!

[dang that makes me feel so darn old.....more than a quarter of a century ago I was in my son's place starting kindergarten...well if I wasn't depressed already that has done it]

Well on a positive note, Marcus is so frickin excited to start Kindergarten. I just hope this excitements keeps going past the 3rd day of getting up at 630am! We are actually starting to work on the new timing routine and get adjusted to earlier bedtimes this week. Hopefully he will be a pleasant boy come the first day of school that early in the morning. I have high hopes!!!

We have pretty much everything for school - just a few last minute things to do.

Hopefully you are starting to prepare yourself!

That's all for tonight.

Good night...more tomorrow :)

Ready...set...go

Day 1 of August 2010

Day 1 of my monthly blogging...

So not a productive first day of this month but so wonderful at the same time.

I have come to the realization that my body has been in shut down mode for the past few Sundays. I have no momentum nor desire to do anything on Sundays. The one day of the week I have been able to sleep and relax so apparently I took advantage of that! Can't say I blame myself...lol

Marcus has finished instructional soccer and loved it so now he wants to play for the fall season. He also wants to play basketball come winter season...should be lots of fun and busy!

Swim lessons are over and he learned so much so now we are going to squeeze in as much swimming as we can and hopefully he will keep up his skills over the winter.

Hopefully I can squeeze in a few more Sundays to shut down!!!

Daily Blogs....

I used to blog/write more often and I have been missing it. It really is a great personal outlet for so many things circling around in my head. At least when I put them on paper, the thoughts don't talk back as they do in my head :)

For the month of August I am going to commit to a daily blog journal of some sort....yikes!!!

It should be interesting or just alot of boring rambling...No promises here!

We are also starting a new blog from the point of view of Marcus as he embarks on his new journey. He has his own thoughts as well and who doesn't love the sayings of a 5 year old???

Stay tuned!!!

My little fish…

Wow – what a couple weeks in daily swim lessons does for a kid. Marcus has loved his swim lessons and has learned so much. He has become so much more comfortable in the water. He has never been afraid of the water but now is even more natural. Swimming both on top and under water, holding his breath even longer, going deeper under water, and even learning to float.

He really loves swimming and is already not wanting to stop for the winter. Hopefully he will keep this up and maybe in a couple years take up swim meets! I think swimming would be the only summer outdoor sport he would stick out full time...afterall he is not friends with the summer heat...but the pool makes it all better!

Keep up the great work my little fish :)

Summer Update

Wow...Here we are smack dab in the middle of July already. Where has the summer gone. Can you believe I have seen Halloween decorations out already??? Crazy!!!

It has been a great summer so far. Marcus has enjoyed his back yard, well except for the mosquitos, sun and heat...lol

We have done some swimming, Marcus has played TBall and now into soccer. He is enjoying soccer much more than TBall but he really wants to play basketball so come winter season we will give that a shot. He starts swimming lessons next week is super excited to go swimming every single day!

Still got lots planned for the rest of summer and lots to do before school starts. We did get a start tonight and got most of Marcus's school supplied and new Batman backpack! He is so excited for Kindergarten, which I am grateful for but just wait til he realizes he has to wake up early every day...LOL

We hope everyone is enjoying their summer and staying cool!!!!!!!!!

Goodbye...Hello...

I wrote this last Friday...

Today, this day, we say Goodbye.
Goodbye to the life as we know it.
Goodbye to preschool and a little boy.
Goodbye to our friends and familar faces / places.

Today, this day, we say Hello.
Hello to a new home with new surroundings.
Hello to a new school and friends.
Hello to my young boy who will be embarking on a new journey.
And finally Hello to Marcus's own backyard!!!

I am so proud of my son today as he goes thru this accomplishment of life. So many more to come but he must begin somewhere. I truely am grateful and proud to be his mommy. Now hand me a tissue...

First Week

What a week. Marcus officially became a Kindergartener (is that really a word?) and loved his new scholol, we moved and I have completely unpacked our new place in exactly 1 week! We also managed to throw in some swimming, shopping, a zoo visit, and a trip to our new library. Needless to say I am exhausted and haven't had much sleep. I now need a vacation to relax...not going to happen!

We are loving the new place...it's even better uncluttered and box FREE. Marcus likes his bigger room and even his closet now since I fixed it to where he could actually reach his clothes! Plus he is an adult kid (his words) since he now has real tv and a remote in his room. "Mommy, I can pause and record my own stuff!" This can't be healthy from a 5 year old :(

Marcus is loving his backyard complete with a swimming pool at his leisure (thanks Granny)!
I must say though it is a little wierd finding new things and not knowing where is everything is on the back of your hand. It's been nearly 10 years since I went thru this kind of change so it's quite an adjustment but I am learning!

First full weekend at the new place entailed a bright and early wake up call to leave the house at 815am to head to Mesquite for T-Ball. What the heck was I thinking???

Thanks again to everyone who has helped out this past week!!! We truely appreciate it :)

My Graduate

The time has come....Pre-K Graduation!!!
Wow...I can't believe it's here already. Such an achievement and milestone. Just another notch in Marcus's education belt buckle. Just the beginning...he has come so far but yet so far to go.

Marcus has really enjoyed his time at Academy Kids. We both have made friends and lots of memories. So many fun times...we are going to miss it!

Marcus has grown so much these past few years. I remember walking him in the doors his first day..crying for mommy but then at the end of the day not wanting to leave. He loved it after just one day. Learning to play with others, new words, colors, shapes, ABCs, counting, all the way to writing his complete name and phonics. His teachers have been wonderful. Each one was a joy and blessing. He has had his favorites along the way and still talks about them to this day. Year by year he has grown more independent and building his own personality. Everyone involved to this point has contributed in one way or another. He would not be the same if those encounters had been missed.

I am so excited to see how he transforms this next year. He will work parts of his brain he has never used before. He will be open to all new friendships and memories. He is going to do great just as he has done already.

Tomorrow is a day of joy with an undertone of sadness. I am losing my baby and gaining a young boy who heads off into the world with a new sense of independence and knowledge. As if the gradutation isn't enough, we head straight to enroll him in Kindergarten. All in one day...can anyone say TISSUES!!!!!

Way to go Marcus! I am so proud of your accomplishments.

Getting ready...

Security deposit paid, boxes packed and taped, new home decor bought and House Warming party set to share it with everyone! We are getting ready for the big move.

It's amazing how much one person can accumulate in 4 years. You don't realize the number of hiding places in a 2 bedroom apartment until you have to physically remove the crap from each of those hiding places. This is will be the first move for Marcus that he will realize what's going on. We have lived here since he was 18months old so he had no concept of the change back then. Now, however, he is making sure we are taking everything and I mean everything. He has been surprisingly helpful with the packing process..if you consider helpful to be stacking empty boxes as a castle then plowing them over with his scooter. And there was the tape incident...enough said! He also had to use the last of a tape roll to make his War Machine costume...again enough said!!

He has started having trouble sleeping in his room so I imagine the anxiety is building of the new place. I am expecting there to be adjustment changes - just hopefully all will be smooth again by the time August rolls around for school.

On top of the move, Marcus is graduating Pre-K...WOW -- how did we get here already? It forever seemed for far away and now we have a 10 day countdown...9...8...7...EEEEEkkkkk

It's going to be a change, leaving his school friends with Pre-K ending and moving all in the same day...literally! I know he's strong and this really is a move for the good! We will be back in Mesquite throughout the summer for sports and swimming. We still have to go check out his new school next week and register for Kindergarten. He's looking forward to it...it's me who will need the adjustment for that...lol

Getting down to the wire on this life chapter and starting the next...

Life is...

Life is short.

Life is unknown.

Life is scary.

Life is taking risks with only hope lying in the background.

Life is full of happiness.

Life is spreading joy and kindness.

Life is sincere.

Life is respecting one another.

Life is full of dreams.

Life is making memories.

Life is sharing the good and the bad.

Life is…love.

Love is life.

You can’t have one without the other.

Love is all around whether you choose to surrender to it or not.

Fitting together...

Just a "Thank You" for all who have kept me up and full of support. Life is suddenly fitting together like a puzzle...got all the edge pieces just some missing middle ones...and you know how I like the middle!

Marcus' birthday party was a success - he talked about it for days and everyone seemed to have so much fun. Traveling for awhile has calmed down and now on to bigger and better things...
I am excited for this next chapter in our lives. Almost to good to be true...and you know what that means? lol We are moving to Richardson which will be a change after living in Mesquite for nearly 9 years. Will take some getting used to but I am looking forward to it. Marcus is super excited for his 1st backyard to call his own...he is saving his money to buy backyard toys and wants to put his bed out there...too bad he doesn't realize Texas heat in the summer...that won't be happening! lol That would give me even more space with his room outside..too bad I can't pull it off.
Stay tuned....

I don't want to grow up....

I find myself so confused at this point in my life. Why is that I can't seem to know what I want. In so many aspects of my life and now affecting Marcus as well. There have been so many major life changes this past year as well to come this next year...I'm not sure if I am strong enough anymore. How am I suppose to raise Marcus as he deserves if I don't even know what is it that I deserve myself???
What direction am I to take and how far do I extend the selfish branch to get what I want out of life? So many choices, potential opportunities and falls. I have to be there for Marcus to pick him up when he falls but who is there for me? I don't mean that disrespectfully and I know I have family and friends but at the same time I feel as if so much is missing from my life. I can't help think (and dwell on) the "what-ifs."
I have been contemplating so many choices and have no idea what is right. I am so not getting that fuzzy feeling in my gut knowing that anything I am doing is right. So many back and forth thoughts and no clear path of moving forward.
I can only hope that the gray path I feel I am on becomes clear and soon! I don't do well in limbo world in regards to anything. I know life is a game but limbo is not my choice!!!!!

Do I really have a 5 year old?

Do I really have a 5 year old? I can't believe it...seriously a 5 year old....not a newborn or toddler or a preschooler but a 5 year old and getting ready for Kindergarten...how did this happen????

It is crazy how fast it goes by. Seems like yesterday when we came home and had no idea how to deal with each other. I'm glad to see much hasn't changed...lol
He has learned so much and continues to surprise me everyday. It has come to the point where he just does so much on his own...makes me realize that he is needing me less and less each day. Come August he will be on his own even more. I have complete faith in him and I know that he will do great in the future but I can't help to want him to stay little forever....well maybe not forever....lol

I am looking forward to the next year of new experiences, achievements, and even sorrows. Marcus has grown so much and matured this past year. I am sure by no choice of his own but he has had to endure quite a lot this past year and I couldn't be more proud.
Here's to the next year of "who knows what is going to happen"!!!!

Roadtrip to Arizona

We embarked on a new journey to Arizona. Bound for the desert and mountains…new sights and scenery for Marcus. Lots of family to catch up with and introduce Marcus to.

I tried my best to explain to Marcus the length of the drive and to my surprise he did excellent and had a blast hanging out in the backseat. We made one last stop for gas around 1am and Marcus’ only demand was a milkshake from Whataburger…lol Marcus experienced his first overnight sleep over in the car…and even at a truck stop for a few hours. He woke up saying his booty was hurting so he crawled up in the front seat and laid on top of me for another couple hours. Comfy cozy and right back to sleep he went.

Finally, we made it out of Texas and into New Mexico just after dawn. The mountains were great and Marcus enjoyed looking at them…saying I wished I lived in a mountain! We zipped thru New Mexico and into Arizona!!! 24 hours later we got to our family’s house. It was so good to see everyone and get out of the car!

Lots of fun activities planned -- Goldfield Ghosttown, the Grand Canyon, African Wildlife Safari, and a birthday celebration with lots of extended family. I could have never expected Marcus to do as well in the car as he did. He keeps surprising me everyday. We had a great time at the ghosttown - Marcus's favorite part was riding in the back of a pick-up truck after the train broke and we got a ride back to the town site. Next day we took Marcus to the Big Hole in the ground (aka...The Grand Canyon). After a windy day and picnic by the snow, we left with Marcus still asking "Where was the Big Hole?" We just laughed and realized we may not have explained it that well...lol

On the way home from the GC, my cousin and I found Bedrock City - complete with the Flintstones!!! We were so excited to hang out in Bedrock with the whole gang!! Wed was a early birthday celebration in Africa for Marcus. He was surprised and so excited to see the animals. We had a blast with the animals and close-up encounters. Marcus was fascinated that there was a lion cub and white tiger in the same habitat. He could of stayed there forever watching them. The long day was over after feeding a giraffe and tiger, complete with early birthday presents from the gift shop.

I was so glad to get Marcus out to this part of the country - for the scenic views and extended family visits. Definitely made me realize that life is short and this visit was way overdue. He got to experience his 5th birthday with lots of family and hopefully life long memories for all. He did so great for the entire trip and made me so proud.

Where did my baby go???

These past couple of weeks Have flown by with so much going on but even in the midst of all the busy times, I have stopped to notice my little boy slipping away....into a young man.
He has grown up and matured so much these past few months it's crazy. I can't believe he is going to be 5 years old. It has been such a long journey but at the same time it seems as if it has flown by.
He has his own opinions from what to wear to his hair to his opinions about how things should work. He came home from PreK telling me that one of the other boys' mom was HOT...what is that about? Do I need to have "that talk" with him already? He has girls fighting over him to get married already and he can now buckle himself in the car. He doens't need me anymore...well except for his trips to Walmart...lol
These next few months are going to be interesting as we transition into another phase of his life. The first 5 years have been great so I can only imagine what the next will have instore.

What a week in PreK!!!

Marcus had a great week in PreK this last week. He got a real taste of a school project by glueing 50 marshmellows on a poster board. Funny how every time we counted them one was missing....I wonder where they walked away too...possibly Markie's tummy :)

We finally got done and he was pooped (his words)!! If he only knew it gets worse from here on out!!!

To continue the celebration of the 50th day of school, Friday he was to dress up as a 50 year old. What else does a 50 yr old grandpa wear -- bathrobe and slippers!

To top off the week, the PreK class got a field trip to Whataburger to get a shake! I don't remember cool field trips like that...we had to do learning things...the milk shake would have been so much better. Marcus had a great time and talked about it all the way home!

Thanks to all those at AK for making a great week!!

Record Snow Fall Fun

I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes...12+ inches of snow in the DFW area within 24 hours. A new record of all time was set and lots of new smiles and memories created.

We woke up Thursday morning to a beautiful white snow blanket. It was so pretty to just stare out the window on Thursday to see it falling and accumulating so quickly. The trees were gorgeous - my favorite part of the scenery. We had snow for Christmas but nothing like this. For the first time Marcus had the pleasure of playing and running in the snow that was piled up over his shoes and up to his shins in some areas. There was enough on the ground to build snowmen, make snow angels, and Marcus' favorite - one awesome snowball fight!! He had so much fun falling into the snow piles. His pants could have been rung out with water from the snow. We took a stab at a snowman complete with eyes, nose, scarf, arms, hair and hat. I'm sure he was somewhat weak on the snowman scale but since we haven't had lots of practice at this but thought he looked great!

We went to bed Thursday night watching the snowfall and woke up to an even higher white blanket covering outside. He didn't even mind that school was cancelled on Friday due to the snow..big shock right! Round 2 of snow ball fighting. Marcus couldn't have been more excited to see that snow again. He loved hetting hit with it and was even better at throwing it. He nailed me a few good times with some great snowballs.

It was wierd trailing snow into the house and having wet shoes, gloves and jackets from the snow. Good thing we had some sand toys that worked great for the snow. Marcus went on a treasure hunt around the house for snowman parts. It actually felt not that bad outside with no wind and just the still of the snow falling. The cold hands were definitely the worse part and I will never forget the moment when the freezing cold snow finally got to Marcus. He ran all the way inside crying that his hands were freezing off!! I kept wondering when it was going to hit him...nothing that a little help from the hair dryer couldn't warm them up in no time.

This was a great experience and who knows if it will happen again to this extreme. I'm very glad that Marcus got to have this experience at this age when so much is still new and exciting to him. Such a beautiful surprise and definitely a time to cherish and remember for all time!!!

What is Love?

Tonight for storytime we read some books about Valentine's Day. It was intertesting to have a conversation about love with a 4 year old. His perspective is so simple...Iasked him what does it mean when you say "I Love You".

As I look back on his 4 years I don't know that I have ever tried to explain that, yet he says it all the time and appropriately. Marcus replied - I say "I love you" cuz you are my mommy! The answer couldn't have been better but I was still not satisfied..so I go in probing for more detail from the 4 year old. I asked Marcus if it meant something different when he told Granny or Papa or anyone else in our family and he replied, "Well, No I love lots of people that I like to be with but I tell Granny more cuz she buys me more toys!" Again...priceless.

What is Love? Marcus seems to know and maybe we should all take a piece of this conversation away - afterall who said you can't buy love??? lol

In the words of Clifford the Big Red Dog -- " Love was the warm, happy feeling you got when you were with someone you cared about."

My Valentine's wish for everyone -- take in stride Clifford's meaning and let those around you whom you care about know that you do care and love them (maybe pocket the 4 year old's reasoning for another time or a better gift) lol

Happy Valentine's Day!!!

Weekend Splurge

This past weekend I treated my mom and Marcus to a mini-getaway. Wasn't the original plan but it turned out great and we all enjoyed it. My mom so needed the mini-break plus the tequila from her 3 margaritas Saturday night....lol

Started out Saturday by heading to Elementary school carnival for a fund raiser. Marcus enjoyed playing the games and took away some great prizes -- he won 3 books from the book walk, I won cupcakes from the cake walk (go figure) and Marcus won 2 stuffed animals from the stuffed animal walk -- he even got me a stuffed Nala to go with Simba! Who doesn't love The Lion King?
Marcus took his first attempt at a real rock wall climbing adventure - all strapped in and up he went just like Spiderman...well Spiderman up a short wall. He managed to get up 3 or 4 steps and then figured out that he liked swinging down even better. He did great for his first try. I know I couldn't have made it up where he got to!

It was surreal seeing Marcus walk around this elementary school. As we entered the classrooms, library and cafeteria I couldn't help but get choked up thinking that in just a few months my little man will be in a place just like this on his own - all day - everyday. I can't believe this time is fast approaching already. I swear I am in denial and will be until the first day when I go to pick him from Kindergarten. I was trying to explain all the different things and rooms as we went throughout the school and he really seemed to enjoy it. We even ate lunch in the cafeteria so he could sit as he would this time next year.

After a few hours and now pooped out...it was time to head off to the hotel for our evening of splurge!

We stayed at a nice hotel that Marcus loved for the water fall, bridges, and fish; with free happy hour and an awesome free breakfast. I splurged for a nice steak dinner for my mom and I while Marcus SCARFED down an big pizza all by himself. He must have been hungry from the busy day.

Marcus enjoyed the big bed (even though 1/2 of it wasn't touched) and the indoor heated pool. It was wierd to go swimming in February and seeing the steam on top of the water but it felt nice...until it was time to get out and FREEZE!

Just a relaxing time away with my family - I couldn't ask for more!!! Well mayby I could of if the original plans had happened but all is well that ended well!!!

3 Months

3 months has passed...so much has changed in such a short period of time...90 days and so much change.
Relationships have passed, new beginnings have been started and loved ones now gone.
I believe that people come into your life for various reasons. Not everyone you come in contact with will be in your life for the long term. Then again those you may just see as passing for a short time may surprise you. It's up to you to decipher the coding from your contacts and decide who fits into your life - like a jigsaw puzzle.
These last 3 months have been such a crazy emotional ride. It's a wonder I made it out the other side. The one thing that I know that has helped me move on has been HOPE.
Hope of some peace and closure from my past.
Hope of a new beginning.
Hope of a promising future.
Hope to become a better person and pursue what I truely want out of life.
Hope of a desire to be happy.
Hope to be loved as I know I deserve to be.
Hope to make someone happy.
Hope to give Marcus a happy life.
Hope....what more do we need?

In the beginning...

of the year 2010....there was lots of excitement, messes left over from Christmas, new stuff to find a place for, lots of cleaning to get done, new toys to play with, decorations to take down, loved ones to miss, recent memories to look back on, and new memories to be made.
I have been exhausted, happy, relaxed, loved, and yes even sick! This first week of the new year has been one of the greatest of my life. I am so proud to have those I care about around me. This year I am open to new possibilities in all aspects of my life. There are already a load of things planned and going on and I can't wait for all the new memories and experiences.
Marcus has gone back to school - yeah!!! It's so hard to think that come August he will be walking thru a new set of school doors into Kindergarten. He is such a smart little guy - scares me to fast forward 10 years! I have a gut feeling that this year will be unlike any before - good or bad - but unlike any other!!!! In advance, I thank you for being a part of it. Come in, sit down, and hold on for the ride :)
Here's to a great year so far...I am ready for so much more.