Memories

I sit here going thru 5+ years of photos and this is one of the most rewarding yet most difficult things I have done. Looking for photos of my grandmother who for my entire life hid from the camera. It is a known fact that after we lose our loved ones, all we are left with are memories. Why must it be so hard to have photo memories too? Does she regret shying away from the camera? We will be left with our internal memories and a few pictures managed to be snapped.

I find myself in a wierd mood, somber even...knowing that this will be a duplicate effort in the future as well and I am making it my goal now to make this easier the next time around. I know we should not rely on photos for our loved ones memories but I don't know what else to do for my 5 year old who is quickly forgetting. He will never forget her love, and hugs, and kisses but her picture is quickly fading in his mind. I don't want it to happen this fast.

I am trying to give Marcus something real to hold onto as he grows up and I am no longer going to be nice about not taking pictures. Camera, set, GO!!!!

Letter Challenge -- My Best Friend

What defines a best friend?

I believe that friends come into your life for a variety of reasons or just certain time periods. People are drawn to others just as they drift apart. It's not healthy to maintain only 1 or 2 close friendships throughout your life. We all need the stimulation and companionship from a variety of people during our lifetime.

To me a best friend is a confident, caring, honest, trustworthy, sincere, respectful, and loving person. You can and want to share your life with this person - the good the bad and the ugly. You have nothing to hide nor fear from this person. You want to be a better person because of them. Simply put, your best friend should bring out the best of you while aiming to improve the worst of you.

At this point in my life, I find myself in an unfamiliar place. I have always thought of my best friend as that close girl in my life but more times than not this person has not existed.

Instead I find myself in a cherished relationship with my best friend. I always wanted to fall in love with my best friend and I can honestly say that none of my past relationships have held up to this definition in my heart. I thank you for all you are, all you do, and most importantly for making me want to be a better person for knowing you.

From 14...5

Just like that my baby boy turns 5, starts Kindergarten and my time with him gets cut from 14 hours a day to only 5. It is so wierd not being surrounded by him so much now. I have way too much quiet time for my thoughts and voices. Way too scary!

I find myself entering new territory after 5 years. Now to those with multiple children I am sure like this seems like no big deal but I went from a world all about me to a world all about my son and now I am finding myself with a balancing act. Why should it be one or the other? There should be a fair balance for both myself and my son. I finally feel like I am achieving this.

I am enjoying our new surroundings and even making some new friends. We both are actually.

Marcus enjoyed his first new friend over last week and today he went to his first after school playdate at his new friend's house. I walked up to the school to pick him up and came home with a backpack but no Marcus. He kept on walking with his buddy yelling bye mom down the sidewalk. I enjoy having friends in the neighborhood!

So I went over to pick him up and we ended up going to dinner with them and meeting another school friend there as well. I finally got him to myself from 7-8 before bedtime :( Tomorrow night is a family nite picnic at school...let's see if he talks to me then....afterall I can hope, right?

Mean Mom

I feel like the worst mom ever tonight...I sent Marcus to bed with no dinner but it was partly his own choice. 3 green beans on his plate and WW3 broke out in my kitchen. Tears, screams, and full blown tantrum.

Not only would he not take a single bite but he refused to eat anything cuz the green beans were on the same plate. He chose to go bed - shower and straight to bed at 715, no tv, no light, no toys. Maybe a couple more nights of this and he will be willing to take a bite. I am sure he will be wanting breakfast in the morning...I feel green beans and cereal coming on. lol

I have always said from day one, my son would never go to bed hungry. I would do whatever I had to do in life to provide him with food...even taking it off of my plate. I know this is not the same thing but it still hurt. It hurts me even more seeing him act like this over a simple vegetable. I wish I could just set down a plate of food and he would eat it. I don't want him growing up unwilling to try new foods or eat a well balanced meal. I want so much for him to grow healthy in all aspects, especially his diet. I don't want him to have the struggles I have faced - no parent wants that for their child. Why must he fight so hard against this?

I am going to be more consistent on offering the foods every night at dinner and maybe he will just give up and surprise me one day! I can only hope :)

Labor Day Weekend minus the LABOR!!!!

So sad...it's over...what great Labor Day weekend!!!

Started off Saturday headed to my moms. Marcus was super excited to see Granny since it had been since July 4th. Lots of new things to show and talk with Granny about. Plus he was looking forward to some "Superhero" talk with Papa Joe and Uncle Micheal.

We managed to squeeze in a little ghost town and some end of the summer swimming. I even took an afternoon nap...that is not an often occurrence :) Dinner at a small country owned place with awesome catfish and fried pickles!!!

Sunday I got to sleep in and got a great surprise from my honey - an opportunity to sneak away to San Antonio for just some "us" time! It was a WIN-WIN for us and for my mom and Marcus. Shouldn't every grandson have some quality alone time with his granny? I totally think so!

So off to SA I went!!!

We had a great lunch complete with offering the leftovers to a homeless guy...my guy is so generous! Followed up with some hotel relaxation then got ready for the night out. Headed downtown to take in Ripley's Haunted House....left scared shitless!!! Wax museum, Guiness World Records Museum, Alamo, Riverwalk, and topped off the nite at a bar! We had a great time just walking around and hanging out together. Little mini-vaca...definitely need a longer one together now!

Headed back home Monday, stopped to pick up Marcus and then the long drive home. Holiday weekends are great until you get to the drive home. Add some off and on rain, with "lovely" Texas drivers [please note sarcasm] and a 3 hour trip takes 4.5 hours. Thank goodness Marcus was in a much better mood today - we had lots to talk about since we hadn't seen each other in 24 hours. I got both earfuls! lol

Home, somewhat unpacked, in bed and geared up for a short week!

Hope everyone had a great well deserved rested holiday weekend too.

30 Day Letter Challenge

My new self challenge was totally stolen from a couple other people I have seen doing this already. It seems quite interesting and possibly even probing into myself some more!!!

So here it is...feel free to steal just as I have and stay tuned.

The 30 Day Letter Challenge

WRITE A LETTER TO THESE PEOPLE :

Day 1 -- Your Best Friend
Day 2 -- Your Crush
Day 3 — Your parents

Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)

Day 5 — Your dreams

Day 6 — A stranger

Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush

Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend

Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet

Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to

Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to

Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain

Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you

Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from

Day 15 — The person you miss the most

Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country

Day 17 — Someone from your childhood

Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be

Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad

Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest

Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression

Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to

Day 23 — The last person you kissed

Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory

Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times

Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to

Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day

Day 28 — Someone that changed your life

Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to

Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror