Whirlwind

This has been a whirlwind of a week, that is for sure. Again, I apologize for the distance...but for the most part we have joined the world again. I just needed some alone time following my Nana's passing Monday evening. A little communication here and there was really all I could handle. Both Monday and Tuesday evenings invovled some nausea and not so fun bouts of vomit. Probably just a form of stress relief I'm sure. Marcus had his first cry for our beloved Nana and woke from sleep the other night. He has started to ask a few more questions and I even heard him playing in his room and sending the bad guys to heaven so they couldn't be bad anymore. The angels would help them be good. It's hard for me to know how much he understands and I know children are far more resilent than we are but still I wish I could know what he was truely thinking.
Marcus enjoyed being back at school and dance this week...his normal activities as compared to the off week we had last week. I am better at talking about her and what has happened now. I believe a few days to process my intial grief, denial and anger. I am fine talking about her life and our memories of her. The nights were lonely, laying in the bed trying to fall asleep. Emptiness and sadness followed by thoughts of all the future events she would be missing out on. I am truely grateful she got to experience her first and probably her one and only great-grandchild as I know being a "Nana" was what she was meant to be. I am sorry there was no wedding for her to be part of. I know that if that day were to come in the future she would be looking down and wishing me only the best. I also know she will be looking out for Marcus as he grows up. We will always have our memories and her love as we move forward with our lives.