Week of Firsts

Brand new school year is now in full swing. This has been a week of firsts for both Marcus and I.

Marcus has started a new session of dance class (combo/tumbling). He had a blast and did great for the first day. He is the only boy this time around but I think he likes being the McDaddy Marcus with all his dancin' girls!!! lol

Today was his first day of Pre-K!! Pre-K...seriously already? Somedays I feel like I just brought him home from the hospital. I look back at far we have both come these past 4+ years. It's amazing what children teach their parents. Pre-K went off great! He helped make teacher survival kits and homemade sugar cookies. He loves giving gifts of any kind to anyone...I just love his generousity and sense of self-fulfillment he gets from giving. He came home with lots of stories from the day...input 4 year old imagination here!

His main excitement for the day was Karate. He has the option to take Karate classes at MDO and this was the first year he wanted to give it a try. He told me that he kicked the shield so hard and knocked down the guy. He was so proud! He was a little upset though that he didn't have a karate uniform so hopefully that will be even more exciting.

Such an exciting year ahead...I can't wait to see what's in store for him as he learns and grows into a young man.

Downtown Dallas Fun

What a night!!! Great fun, food, friends and new adventures!!!

We actually spent the evening in Downtown Dallas almost as tourists in our own home town. I must say I haven't done much of that since I have lived in this area since I was 5 years old.
Evening started out with Marcus' first train ride on the Dart Rail. He loved it for the speed and the fact there was no seatbelt (go figure for a 4 year old)...lol

Got off the train to stand in line (yes in the heat) for the Disney Christmas Carol Train Tour @ Union Station. Marcus enjoyed the bigger train and looking at the behind the scenes movie stuff. He likes Scrooge...go figure! The best part was at the end when you got to morph your own picture into a character picture from the movie. The last train car smellled soooo good like Christmas gingerbread!! Made me excited for Christmas time already. We can't wait for the movie and hopefully Marcus will remember and think about what we already saw from the train.

Last night also included Marcus' first trip to a porto-potty...even as a lucky boy with no need to touch anything, he refused to go cuz "it was nasty and stuff in the icky water" - his words! He's more girlie than me sometimes. He was a trooper and held it for about another hour to a clean RR at TGIF. Dinner at a cool place (for the kids) with a huge image of Superman on the wall and all. We had some hungry kids complete with ice cream for dessert.

To end the evening experience in downtown, we were able to talk the horse-drawn carriage driver down on his price and took the kids on a ride thru the West End. They loved it and this by far was the best part of the night. The weather was perfect by this time and the kids enjoyed waving as our horse Princess Jasmine or "Jazzy" trotted along the streets. I myself have always wanted to do this and we got to do it together!!! The driver was very nice and friendly (by that I mean very talkative) and even played kid music during the ride -- Wheels on the Bus & On Top of Spagetti!! Even though Marcus love the ride, he didn't want to get close to the horse. Maybe next time.

Ended the night with a train ride back to Garland to our car and watching the storm clouds roll in . Complete with wind and trash blowing around the cobble streets of the West End. Marcus crashed hard and all night long!!!

Family

This past weekend we got to spend some time with my stepmom's parents. Marcus had a blast for the first time meeting them. He liked his great grandpa & grandma. Makes me wish I were closer to more of my family. Especially around the holidays I would love to have 30 or so relatives together around the table. Believe, they are out there but so many miles apart. I wish for Marcus to grow up a family orientated man. I hope he takes the concept of family to heart. Even though our immediate family is small I don't always feel we are close (not in the geographic sense). Yes I am the closest to my mom but not so much with my dad or brother. I wish that were different. It just feels as if the past is holding us back with no forward movements. For Marcus' sake especially we need to work on that and the sad thing it that it will have to fall on me to make the moves. But that is okay.
In a few weeks I will be seeing my grandmother from my dad's side face to face for the 1st time in 15 years. Yes she lives in Arizona but that should be no excuse for the time lapse. Marcus has yet to meet her so that visit will be in the works as well. He may not remember it but she and I will. I'm in hopes of getting to see a once very close cousin and I can't wait either....we were itty bitties (literally) last time we were face to face! I have been fortunate enough not to have lost any of my immediate family yet but I feel as if I need to wake and quit taking our time together for granted.

Apples to Oranges

Ok so lately I find myself conflicted, comparing apples to oranges if you will please. Why is that once I believe I know what I now what...I wake up to realize that it could be possibly something completely different? This goes for the small mundane day to day things to the life altering bigger choices. Why can't it be easy and compare apples to apples??? I guess that would be just too easy...wouldn't it? Life is short - that is for sure so it makes you want to have everything possible. There's not enough time in the day, days in the week, months in the year and years in our life. So instead I am going to try and start taking a step back to breathe and the inhale that I am living now...you can't hope and waste the present on what might or might not be in the future. Lots of exciting times comin up and great things to look forward to with family and friends!!!!

More To Love -- maybe or maybe not???

So as I sit here watching More To Love on ABC, I am sickened to the bottom of my stomach. All of these women are pulling out the pity stories and poor me crying eyes. These women have known this "perfect man" for only two weeks and are so mesmerized by him and deem him the only man that they could fall in love with. Take a step back and think of why exactly you are there and what you are truely looking for. To me these women have no self confidence, self worth nor do they know themselves enough to give themself to a man. It disturbs me that the network is portraying such an emphasis on their size. These are issues that women deal with no matter what their size. I get the jist of the show but I don't agree with the women trying to pull it off.

Anyways how does this stupid reality show relate to me, you might ask???
My life may not be the ideal for many people I know but that is what makes it my life. I have no regrets for how I have lived my life so far. Of course I wish for more but who doesn't? Of course I would like to find that special someone to share my life with but I am not going to create a pity party for myself in order to make that happen. I am happy and content with my life at the moment but I will continue to look for the positive future for even a better life. I don't blame my life on my weight or physical attributes. I don't have a problem meeting men - the problem is finding one I feel worthy to share my life with. I don't think I ask for too much -- just the same level of trust, honesty, respect and love. How difficult can that be?
I refuse to blame my social life on my weight...or how I look. No matter how you are physically if you look down on yourself then why shouldn't someone else. If you don't feel worthy then no one else will either. That's all on you, not them. Don't expect someone to treat you better than you treat yourself.
I have no regrets and I know what I want and I know someday it will all fall into place.
Thanks for listening to my ramble.
Thanks for listening.

Summer Update

Just thought I would give a mid-summer update. With everyone so busy these days I can't keep straight you has been kept in the loop and who has not. I figure this is the easiest way.
For the most part, the summer has been good to us. Marcus is addicted to swimming like a goldfish! He has really come out of his shell in the water this year...swimming alone with a swim ring, jumping in with and without the ring, going under water on his own....just not afraid of anything in the water. He also took a major advance at Burgers Lake a couple weeks ago and was walking barefoot in the sand & water. He has never liked the feel of the the wet sand but he was surprisingly okay at the lake. Maybe next summer we'll try the beach again.

Marcus completed his first year of dance and actually surprised us during the recital. I was prepared for tears and screams as he was pushed onto the stage. But just as he has always done he pulled thru and was great. He said he had a good time and wants to do it again so next week we're going to sign up for another year of dance. Marcus was introduced to T-Ball this summer and really enjoyed it. He wants to play again but we just have too many scheduling conflicts this fall. So next year T-Ball will be first pick if he still wants to play. He has also asked to take Karate at school so if offered, he's going to give that a try. I love the fact that he is open to trying new activities. I just hopes he finds a true passion and sticks to it to the best of his abilities as he gets older.

He also attended a couple weekly summer camps this year and had a great time meeting new friends. He made some great art work and tried some new foods as well as gaining independence. It was tough on us both having to get up and out every morning for a solid week. I will be the first to admit that I am spoiled so we have another year to practice getting up and out the door for school every morning. Ugh...

Other fun activities this summer --> Medieval Times for the first time and loved it; the Ringling Brothers & Barnum Bailey Circus; getting better riding his bike; week visit with Granny and Nana; jumping off a diving board; and great week of VBS with his best buddy from preschool.

I can't believe that school is about to start again and another summer gone...I will have a pre-K student. Lots of fun things yet to come....my first major adult roadtrip across 5 states; vacation with Marcus and Granny to East Texas; lots of fun holidays with family and friends and then it will be time to ring in the new year...bring on 2010....geez I'm tired.

I hope everyone's summer has been great and best wishes to all!