Fitting together...

Just a "Thank You" for all who have kept me up and full of support. Life is suddenly fitting together like a puzzle...got all the edge pieces just some missing middle ones...and you know how I like the middle!

Marcus' birthday party was a success - he talked about it for days and everyone seemed to have so much fun. Traveling for awhile has calmed down and now on to bigger and better things...
I am excited for this next chapter in our lives. Almost to good to be true...and you know what that means? lol We are moving to Richardson which will be a change after living in Mesquite for nearly 9 years. Will take some getting used to but I am looking forward to it. Marcus is super excited for his 1st backyard to call his own...he is saving his money to buy backyard toys and wants to put his bed out there...too bad he doesn't realize Texas heat in the summer...that won't be happening! lol That would give me even more space with his room outside..too bad I can't pull it off.
Stay tuned....

I don't want to grow up....

I find myself so confused at this point in my life. Why is that I can't seem to know what I want. In so many aspects of my life and now affecting Marcus as well. There have been so many major life changes this past year as well to come this next year...I'm not sure if I am strong enough anymore. How am I suppose to raise Marcus as he deserves if I don't even know what is it that I deserve myself???
What direction am I to take and how far do I extend the selfish branch to get what I want out of life? So many choices, potential opportunities and falls. I have to be there for Marcus to pick him up when he falls but who is there for me? I don't mean that disrespectfully and I know I have family and friends but at the same time I feel as if so much is missing from my life. I can't help think (and dwell on) the "what-ifs."
I have been contemplating so many choices and have no idea what is right. I am so not getting that fuzzy feeling in my gut knowing that anything I am doing is right. So many back and forth thoughts and no clear path of moving forward.
I can only hope that the gray path I feel I am on becomes clear and soon! I don't do well in limbo world in regards to anything. I know life is a game but limbo is not my choice!!!!!

Do I really have a 5 year old?

Do I really have a 5 year old? I can't believe it...seriously a 5 year old....not a newborn or toddler or a preschooler but a 5 year old and getting ready for Kindergarten...how did this happen????

It is crazy how fast it goes by. Seems like yesterday when we came home and had no idea how to deal with each other. I'm glad to see much hasn't changed...lol
He has learned so much and continues to surprise me everyday. It has come to the point where he just does so much on his own...makes me realize that he is needing me less and less each day. Come August he will be on his own even more. I have complete faith in him and I know that he will do great in the future but I can't help to want him to stay little forever....well maybe not forever....lol

I am looking forward to the next year of new experiences, achievements, and even sorrows. Marcus has grown so much and matured this past year. I am sure by no choice of his own but he has had to endure quite a lot this past year and I couldn't be more proud.
Here's to the next year of "who knows what is going to happen"!!!!

Roadtrip to Arizona

We embarked on a new journey to Arizona. Bound for the desert and mountains…new sights and scenery for Marcus. Lots of family to catch up with and introduce Marcus to.

I tried my best to explain to Marcus the length of the drive and to my surprise he did excellent and had a blast hanging out in the backseat. We made one last stop for gas around 1am and Marcus’ only demand was a milkshake from Whataburger…lol Marcus experienced his first overnight sleep over in the car…and even at a truck stop for a few hours. He woke up saying his booty was hurting so he crawled up in the front seat and laid on top of me for another couple hours. Comfy cozy and right back to sleep he went.

Finally, we made it out of Texas and into New Mexico just after dawn. The mountains were great and Marcus enjoyed looking at them…saying I wished I lived in a mountain! We zipped thru New Mexico and into Arizona!!! 24 hours later we got to our family’s house. It was so good to see everyone and get out of the car!

Lots of fun activities planned -- Goldfield Ghosttown, the Grand Canyon, African Wildlife Safari, and a birthday celebration with lots of extended family. I could have never expected Marcus to do as well in the car as he did. He keeps surprising me everyday. We had a great time at the ghosttown - Marcus's favorite part was riding in the back of a pick-up truck after the train broke and we got a ride back to the town site. Next day we took Marcus to the Big Hole in the ground (aka...The Grand Canyon). After a windy day and picnic by the snow, we left with Marcus still asking "Where was the Big Hole?" We just laughed and realized we may not have explained it that well...lol

On the way home from the GC, my cousin and I found Bedrock City - complete with the Flintstones!!! We were so excited to hang out in Bedrock with the whole gang!! Wed was a early birthday celebration in Africa for Marcus. He was surprised and so excited to see the animals. We had a blast with the animals and close-up encounters. Marcus was fascinated that there was a lion cub and white tiger in the same habitat. He could of stayed there forever watching them. The long day was over after feeding a giraffe and tiger, complete with early birthday presents from the gift shop.

I was so glad to get Marcus out to this part of the country - for the scenic views and extended family visits. Definitely made me realize that life is short and this visit was way overdue. He got to experience his 5th birthday with lots of family and hopefully life long memories for all. He did so great for the entire trip and made me so proud.