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It's been awhile but you know my motto...better late than never :)

3 weeks now on my new lifestyle change and I am loving it.

7 lbs lost and now walking 2 miles in 20 mins 5 days a week. I am working my way up to my FIRST EVER 5K walk on May 22nd. I am super psyched and know I can do this. I think back on previous years and knowing people that participated in these charity walk/run events and remember thinking I could never finish something like that. Now everyday the 5K finish is getting closer and closer.

For the first time since I can't even remember was I able to buy and WEAR a 14/16 top. Such a minimal thing for most people I am sure but a personal accomplishment I take pride in completing. I have never been a fan of shopping for clothes [for obvious reasons] but now this dislike continues but for a very different reason. I now have such a hard time knowing what size to even start trying on. Does it look too tight? Does it show too much curve? All such new areas of the clothing world for me.

Up on finishing my 5K one month from tomorrow, I will be awarding myself for a new bathing suit. The one I currently have is 3 years old and literally will not stay up on me. I'm hoping this will be a pleasant experience!

Here's to one week at a time...week 4 starting tomorrow!!

I have now hit a "Third of a Century"

Sounds bad huh? Thank you to my mother for reminding me of this milestone.

I just re-read my blog from my birthday last year. It's amazing how true it became and fitting for my present day. This birthday was by far the BEST I have had in a long time. I am truely happy and in a better place in my life than I was this time a year ago. It's amazing how life seems to unravel so quickly then just like that can begin to fall into place on its own. Doors close and at the same time the right door opens. No forcing required.

I enjoyed taking some time out for myself. At the same time I treasured the excitement from Marcus - he loves birthdays of any kind for anyone! We celebrated with birthday ice cream after school. Any reason for him to have birthday cake ice cream...nasty!

Later than night I got the best gift of all...my dose of "honey". We went to dinner and ended up having a great evening and quiet dinner while Marcus lay asleep on the other booth bench. It was the best family dinner we have ever had - the best birthday gift he could have ever given me...lol

My day ended on the highest note possible and couldn't have been better. I truely am happy with my life and have the feeling of nothing but positive movement and gain in my future.

I thank you for all those who have taken part and made my life what it is today...the good, the bad and in between. If any of it were changed, my life would not be as is today and I wouldn't change a single thing!!

Howdy Folks, Welcome to the State Fair of Texas

What a great day at the State Fair of Texas today! Tony had never been before and Marcus did great considering it was his first state fair visit as a big boy with no stroller, wagon, etc. He had his bad and whiney moments but overall did great.

We started off with walking around the fair grounds, the dog show, and the petting zoo. First year Marcus actually PET the animals in the petting zoo. It amazes me how he is so scared of the little cute animals and wants a pet Lion in his backyard. I fed an ostrich out of my hand - I am sure there was a warning not to do this but oh well.,..lol

And now on to The Midway!! Marcus was in heaven...what went the fastest and highest??? Marcus and I rode on the Tilt-a-Whirl and we both were felling sick...it's been awhile since I have been on one of those! Bumper cars & a dragon roller coaster with Tony topped off Midway. He was finally tall enough to go thru the crazy fun houses on his own...and he picked the one with a window maze...2 GOOD smacks into the glass windows and he started to get scared and tear up. Then here comes a cute little blonde girl to save the day and help him out. Lesson learned..."Men who cry get the girl!" lol I know I shouldn't have been laughing...but I couldn't help it! SMACK :)

Corn dogs, funnel cake and nachos - nothing better and worse at the same time! Not really interested in trying any of the FRIED foods - I will stick to the usuals - why mess with perfection? Visit to Big Tex and again no tears around him for the first time.

Used up all the coupons and no major meltdowns. Sun was out but the weather was great. Couldn't have been a better Fair Day experience!!!

Memories

I sit here going thru 5+ years of photos and this is one of the most rewarding yet most difficult things I have done. Looking for photos of my grandmother who for my entire life hid from the camera. It is a known fact that after we lose our loved ones, all we are left with are memories. Why must it be so hard to have photo memories too? Does she regret shying away from the camera? We will be left with our internal memories and a few pictures managed to be snapped.

I find myself in a wierd mood, somber even...knowing that this will be a duplicate effort in the future as well and I am making it my goal now to make this easier the next time around. I know we should not rely on photos for our loved ones memories but I don't know what else to do for my 5 year old who is quickly forgetting. He will never forget her love, and hugs, and kisses but her picture is quickly fading in his mind. I don't want it to happen this fast.

I am trying to give Marcus something real to hold onto as he grows up and I am no longer going to be nice about not taking pictures. Camera, set, GO!!!!

Letter Challenge -- My Best Friend

What defines a best friend?

I believe that friends come into your life for a variety of reasons or just certain time periods. People are drawn to others just as they drift apart. It's not healthy to maintain only 1 or 2 close friendships throughout your life. We all need the stimulation and companionship from a variety of people during our lifetime.

To me a best friend is a confident, caring, honest, trustworthy, sincere, respectful, and loving person. You can and want to share your life with this person - the good the bad and the ugly. You have nothing to hide nor fear from this person. You want to be a better person because of them. Simply put, your best friend should bring out the best of you while aiming to improve the worst of you.

At this point in my life, I find myself in an unfamiliar place. I have always thought of my best friend as that close girl in my life but more times than not this person has not existed.

Instead I find myself in a cherished relationship with my best friend. I always wanted to fall in love with my best friend and I can honestly say that none of my past relationships have held up to this definition in my heart. I thank you for all you are, all you do, and most importantly for making me want to be a better person for knowing you.

From 14...5

Just like that my baby boy turns 5, starts Kindergarten and my time with him gets cut from 14 hours a day to only 5. It is so wierd not being surrounded by him so much now. I have way too much quiet time for my thoughts and voices. Way too scary!

I find myself entering new territory after 5 years. Now to those with multiple children I am sure like this seems like no big deal but I went from a world all about me to a world all about my son and now I am finding myself with a balancing act. Why should it be one or the other? There should be a fair balance for both myself and my son. I finally feel like I am achieving this.

I am enjoying our new surroundings and even making some new friends. We both are actually.

Marcus enjoyed his first new friend over last week and today he went to his first after school playdate at his new friend's house. I walked up to the school to pick him up and came home with a backpack but no Marcus. He kept on walking with his buddy yelling bye mom down the sidewalk. I enjoy having friends in the neighborhood!

So I went over to pick him up and we ended up going to dinner with them and meeting another school friend there as well. I finally got him to myself from 7-8 before bedtime :( Tomorrow night is a family nite picnic at school...let's see if he talks to me then....afterall I can hope, right?

Mean Mom

I feel like the worst mom ever tonight...I sent Marcus to bed with no dinner but it was partly his own choice. 3 green beans on his plate and WW3 broke out in my kitchen. Tears, screams, and full blown tantrum.

Not only would he not take a single bite but he refused to eat anything cuz the green beans were on the same plate. He chose to go bed - shower and straight to bed at 715, no tv, no light, no toys. Maybe a couple more nights of this and he will be willing to take a bite. I am sure he will be wanting breakfast in the morning...I feel green beans and cereal coming on. lol

I have always said from day one, my son would never go to bed hungry. I would do whatever I had to do in life to provide him with food...even taking it off of my plate. I know this is not the same thing but it still hurt. It hurts me even more seeing him act like this over a simple vegetable. I wish I could just set down a plate of food and he would eat it. I don't want him growing up unwilling to try new foods or eat a well balanced meal. I want so much for him to grow healthy in all aspects, especially his diet. I don't want him to have the struggles I have faced - no parent wants that for their child. Why must he fight so hard against this?

I am going to be more consistent on offering the foods every night at dinner and maybe he will just give up and surprise me one day! I can only hope :)